UEFA excluded Real Mallorca from the Europa League and now the players fight back with hand-written, bubbled-lettered protest T-shirts stating "UEFA, fair play please." This, my friends, is a fierce declaration of war.

UEFA dropped Mallorca from the biggest European club tournament that isn't the Champions League because the club went into voluntary administration with a debt of about €85 million and clubs in administration can't take part in the competition. But Mallorca finished 5th in La Liga last season to earn that Europa League spot and are now appealing the decision, convinced that they're being wronged. Hence, the T-shirts they wore ahead of their friendly against Feyenoord on Sunday, throwing UEFA's own omnipresent slogan back at them.

Will the plea of the shirts slap UEFA into reversing their decision to punish a club that voluntarily broke the rules? Probably not. But at least it made the players feel like they tried. 

Photo: AS

New France coach Laurent Blanc decided to show his entire squad of World Cup mischief-makers who's boss by suspending the entire 23-man roster for his first match in charge. And suddenly, France's World Cup goalkeeper Hugo Lloris is thinking that decision to go on strike in South Africa wasn't exactly the best idea ever. Said Lloris to L'Equipe (via Sky Sports):

"Going on strike was the decision of a group that felt isolated, that felt no one had protected it, and that wanted to get a message across.

"We went way too far. It was a clumsy decision, a big mistake. It was totally stupid."

Well, that group is going to feel even more isolated when they're all watching that friendly against Norway from home. But it sounds like Blanc is starting to get through to the group. Lloris continued:

"We acted more like a team in the bus than on the pitch.

"We all want to restore the image of Les Bleus. I'm not asking for us to win everything, just that we all make an effort, that we give everything.

"We need to get back to basics, respect for the jersey, for ourselves, our teammates and the institution that is the France team."

Back to basics? I smell a montage.

Anyway, it's nice to see Blanc doing more for the French team before coaching his first match than Raymond Domenech could over the entirety of the World Cup.  

Photo: Getty Images

With Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech injured for the start of the season, former Middlesbrough man Ross Turnbull has a chance to try and impress his way into taking starts from de facto first-choice keeper Hilario. He did not do this against Friday's friendly against Ajax.

The score even at 1-1 after two early goals, Turnbull chased down a long, bouncing goal kick at the edge of his box. He slid past the ball in his attempt to corral it, allowing Siem de Jong to pick it away from his hands and flick a shot into the empty net. Ajax went on to beat a very young Chelsea side (yes, that is an excuse) 3-1, leaving Carlo Ancelotti to wonder if the horse placenta lady would be willing to move into Cech's house for a few days.  

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Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp had the delightful idea to take his team on a break from training camp in Austria to go canoeing. As you can see, this idea didn't quite go according to plan for Jurgen as he and canoe buddy/BVB general manager Michael Zorc encountered a bit of trouble near that overhanging brush.

Any predictions on how that situation turned out? Come with me this way to see the shocking result...

OK, wait,  I think they might still have a chance to right that ship...

Maybe, uh, maybe not. But once Klopp pulled the leeches out of his shorts and shook off the dreadful feeling of being in a remake of "Deliverance," he was quick to blame his canoe for the accident. From Bild.de:

"This was only the bad material. Michael Schumacher doesn't become world champion in a s***ty car."

Yes, Jurgen, the only thing keeping you from becoming a world champion canoeist on this day was a faulty boat. Now please stop looking at me like that. 

Photos: DeFodi/Bild 

An ever-growing pile of injuries has kept Fat Ronaldo from playing for Corinthians since early May, which clearly has not helped his fitness or his self-admitted weight problem. And though the legendary striker has already announced that he will retire when his contract runs out at the end of 2011, he admits his body is already begging for mercy (via Marca):

"I'm getting old and my body is asking me to stop."

Granted, he doesn't specify whether his body is asking him to stop playing or eating cheese by the wheel, but it seems his days of scoring goals at will and dominating on the pitch may already be over.

It would be a shame if physical problems kept him from leaving the game on his ideal terms. Even in his twilight with Corinthians, he has four goals in 10 matches this season and 27 in 45 matches since joining the club in 2009. But, wow. Just looking at that picture above is making me feel uncomfortable.   

Photo: AFP

During Wednesday's football at Fenway match between Celtic and Sporting Lisbon, a terror in loafers and khaki pants invaded the makeshift pitch. He didn't get very far, though, as one of Fenway's finest took him down with extreme prejudice. The apparently inebriated invader seemed to be OK as he waved and pranced off the pitch with his large escort.

It looks like the Sporting fans enjoyed this. 

Thanks to Robbie for the tip!